unserenely picturesque

2012-02-14T21:39:00.002+08:00

Its funny how people are willing to do lots of brave things just for you, yet you still choose someone who can't even offer half of what others could.

i believe emotions are God given... He made us to be the way we are... you can't blame yourself for feeling...

all u can do is thank god the way he made you... and the only one who can really help you change any of your
feelings or emotions... is the one who gave them to you... =) <3

happy valentines day people! =)

hope you had an awesome one... =)

cuz this one was good for me... ;)

ever have that one person who can understand you no matter how much you hide behind the laughs and smiles.... the person who will never judge you... that person who you can be totally transparent to? the person you feel so connected to? the one who understands your silence? =) the one you knew you could relate to the moment you looked at the person? ;)

2012-02-13T19:59:00.000+08:00

you know when its bad??

when you know that better than nothing is good enough........

craps...

as usual su teng...

as usual...

no guts...

i wish i had more guts...

HELLOOO! =(

well i just hope and pray that youre happy =)

2012-02-12T00:06:00.003+08:00

microoo...

crap fail lahh!

brain please concentrate... =(

oh ps i couldn't care less anymore =)

But we're gonna start by drinking our cheap bottles of wine
Sit talking up all night, doing things we haven't for a while, a while, yeah
We're smiling but we're close to tears, even after all these years
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time

-for the first time by the script-

2012-02-10T18:09:00.002+08:00

the two dilemmas that rattle the human skull,

1. how do you get rid of someone who won't go?
2. how do you hang onto someone who won't stay?

i honestly thought it was you...

you on the phone....

only to find out it was the other who just can't seem to let go

you said you would call... all the promises... the trips planned... the wind in my face i would have so much loved to live a reality...

now where are you?

no sign of life honey? =(

not cool

to the other you... i'm sorry but its time to let go... its not worth it... for either of us...

2012-02-10T01:43:00.000+08:00

devdas is such an awesome moviieeee =)

still no sign of life

don't listen to them

i dislike these games honeyy

if only you knew...

it has been 3 weeks since i last heard from you...

2012-02-08T23:38:00.003+08:00

she decided to free herself, dance into the wind, create a new language. and the birds fluttered around her, writing "yes" into the sky

i willed myself to move... i willed myself never to wait again... and i succeeded...

i'm sorry.... i said everything and im not turning back...

if you want to say anything... i am willing to hear...

but i cant ask... it would affect where i am now... cause that would mean turning back...

besides i've already submitted it to Him and im not gonna take it up or back from Him...

whats the point of holding onto a never gets used? other than a sick desire for self abuse...

i've willed myself to let go... to forgive... and most importantly.... forgive myself...

and i'm honestly... im proud of where i've come...

like he said... take a look back.. and see where He has brought you... =) you don't realize you've left egypt... the fact is you are on the way to the promised land

pray pray =)

and that in itself is enough...

thank you! <3

Love asks us that we be a little braver than is comfortable, a little more generous, a little more flexible. It means living on the edge more than we care to.

bring out the old... welcome in the new!

2012-01-01T11:31:00.000+08:00

happyy newww yearr! =D!

its been an awesome past year... the year where so much has been taught to me.... =)

when you realize that what you THINK is important... and what IS really important... well i guess its very liberating...

and for this year Lord... bring me to where i NEED to be... and not where i WANT to be...

grant me the gift of gratefulness...

of obedience...

of much much much more faith....

and most importantly... draw me closer to you lord....

i pray that you'll keep my dear ones safe... and protect them.... =)

HAPPYY NEWW YEARR!

2011-12-26T17:44:00.001+08:00

maybe its your first love that sticks with you because it's the only person that will receive all of you. After that, you learn better, but most of all, no matter what, a piece of you will forever remains behind in the heart of the one you loved- a piece no future lover could ever get. that piece holds innocence, the belief that love can really last forever. It holds friendship and pain, trial and error, the kiss you'll never forget, and the night under the stars you can never get back. It holds youth and everything you though love would be, everything that was proven WRONG...

she's been crying again...she doesn't mean to and she doesn't want to, but shes been crying again and she hasn't asked but she wants you to kiss her cheeks and tell her everything is gonna be okay, even if it won't...

i don't know what to say... what to do...

i just can't do this without you Lord... please help me through this one... help me battle these demons and set me free...

2011-11-27T02:45:00.002+08:00

please help me this time... to stay strong...

to know what to do....

to do whats right...

dear lord... please grant me the wisdom, strength and perseverance this time...

2011-10-23T01:27:00.003+08:00

well i guess sometimes
it happens
we dont know why
but maybe thats what they call love
and thats why we grow up
we grow to live without what we love
we learn to hope for happiness for someone
more that our own happiness
we pray that someone is happy
despite how we feel
and maybe thats why we do learn to mature

when it happened time and time again.... i can assure u...

that no matter who...

no matter how many times

i have always and will always be happy for that person...

you may not understand...

and you may hate me...

and no i dont care...

as long as youre happy...

and that itself is enough...

that in itself is enough...

-dont come so close... im scared... that________________-

im so sorry....

this time...

lord please this time...

just with this one...

give me the wisdom and discernment to do what is right...

because this is not something normal...

and i can feel it...

and honestly...

it scares me...

is this what they call growing up?

2011-10-04T20:50:00.003+08:00

and for someone to look back at one's past... all that one has achieved... all that one has received...

for one to look at one's life... all that one is blessed with

and to look into the kaleidoscope of the future... all that one would soon receive... all the unattained dreams...

and say that it isn't worth anything

is so sad...

to feel so alone... to feel so left out... to feel that life is hopeless... and to feel that one has no purpose...

is so sad...

to say that its over... to say that its through...

my dear friend... is so sad....

i pray with all my heart... that your soul will find peace...

that all the people will be able to find comfort in this darkest hour...

that you will be happy where you are now...

to my dear friend, aman yadav.... who passed away on the 3rd of october year 2011...

may your soul find peace and happiness....

and may all the lives you've touched... be inspired....

take care!

thank you for all the joy and hindi lessons you taught me...

thank you for impacting my life...

its so ironic how the people who scream suicide never do the act... but the most jovial and joyful of us... are the ones that silently depart...

one day the person maybe right next to you... and the next.... they may not be...

because that is just how fragile life is....

2011-09-25T20:21:00.004+08:00

OMG scandal! =O!!!

QQQQ!!!

gg.com.my!

CONS IS SO FUN!!! so far! =D! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE XD! cons cons cons! =D

Well so ive seen this cute duo that have been best friends forever... its even super evident that theyve like each other for quite awhile now... but due to certain circumstances, perceptions, bad timing, distance, other people, education, well lets say theyve never ever got the chance to be together...theyve been through quite alot... but at the end of the day... even that wont break them apart =)

It really brings a smile to my face when i see the both of them... cuz its really so cute... its so simple yet complicated as well... the funny things that only the both of them do to each other, their own inside jokes... =) hahaha its super darn cute lorhh! Well needless to say... im super rooting for them to get together! =)

I will so totally be so happy for the both of them! =DD!

ATL!!! Why you no come earlier!! =(

Well its fine... whats the use of holding onto a never gets used? Other than a sick desire for self abuse?

-your new twin sized bed by DCFC-

well at least none of us can say anyone owes anyone anything! =)

2011-08-27T02:10:00.002+08:00

who knew that waiting for results could be so torturing?!?!

i want to know..

yet im worried at the same time..

HR!! =)

WHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! =)

please please please let me get what i want!

2011-08-12T16:59:00.002+08:00

and now ive revised the list to two criteria:

1.
2.

=) THATS all! its much shorter... but good luck meeting it! ;)

penang trip was seriously damn fun! =) will defo miss it! =) and i think it was really a good break for me! =)

ahahha and on a random note:
and btw person 1 once said to me: i think person 2 likes u.... and i said.... u think everyone likes me la! and person 1 laughed...

hahah damn cute lorhh! ;)

<3

and rmb that i'll always be here for you! even when u feel lost and numb and apathetic! =) or even if u dunno what u're feeling or what u wanna feel! =)

2011-08-09T16:09:00.006+08:00

i need to be more grateful with the things i am blessed with,

the things that i have,

the people i have in my life,

and not the things i want

the things i wish for

or the people i want in my life

i need to list out the good things ~~because im a pessimist and its really getting much worse~~

because i need to remind myself of the good things i have in my life

i dont know if saying that out loud even helped

at the end of the day... i still feel like an ungrateful brat

results....

=( crap!

TENSION+EMO+BREAKDOWN!!!!

FAIL

no suteng NO!

somehow, it feels like an unwanted hangover
where you were the alcohol i consumed too much of
and yet am still addicted to
i wish i could turn back the clock
and never have cared in the first place
because thats what got me in this messed up state

i should have never let my mind processed whatever you said
or opened up my heart to let you in
because im such a naive person
that is programmed to trust so easily
to empathize and
to just love from the depths of my heart and soul

solution?

keep everyone at a distance...

and never trust so easily ever again

reality? it never works ;)

because im just THAT naive and idiotic

congrats! =)

who said forgiveness is always a good thing?

it just makes u forgive and susceptible to trust the same liar that hurt you the first time

FAIL

and at the end of the day, when one has predicted what would have happen...

is one supposed to be happy that they saw it all coming?

or sad because it was at the same it was a definite _______________ ?

i told you so heart... i told you so... =)

congrats head... you win =)

its funny, cuz when you've finally found someone with the same emotional and intellectual depth...

you find that its always not gonna work out due to some circumstances...

thank you... all i needed was for you to take away the thing that was helping me so much to become normal again... =)

the tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we're still alive =)

2011-08-09T03:04:00.012+08:00

go suteng go! leave!

I'm a war of head versus heart
And it's always this way
My head is weak, my heart always speaks
Before I know what it will say
-crooked teeth by death cab for cutie-

im not sure if im gonna regret just leaving again...

but yeahh i guess...

its whats best?

i cant do or say anything around u anyway....

i feel suffocated... i feel all the tears building up...

and most of all..

i feel ____________ =)

so please dont blame me...

its not like you didn know im a coward anyways!

sorry ;)

i so neeed to be super mean! and ignore the emotions most of the time...

then again... maybe that would only need to apply to __________ =)

so anyway i was talking to someone =) and this came out of it:

men gotta get that notion that theres always someone out there thats prettier... and

just choose the girl you like... simple!

walau im super insulted now lorh! damn too much! PPFFTT! FAIILL! i just realised how much the word "love" means to people these days =)

and someone else said

and in my personal opinion, if he doenst, haha he's lose lah. deng, saying no to you is it?

THANK YOUU! damn lahh! =)

SERIOUSLY...

2011-08-05T00:02:00.000+08:00

i guess now... im not sad anymore... because i think ive realized

i was once sad because you gave up on me...

now i just feel sorry for you because you gave up on someone who would have NEVER given up on you...

and now... i dont think i will ever vouch for that anymore...

im nice enough to forgive you... but not stupid enough to trust you...

sorry

nevermind i'll find someone like you...

and i think...

this time... its much more than just chemistry...

<3

2011-08-02T16:20:00.001+08:00

Close enough to start a war
All that I have is on the floor
God only knows what we're fighting for
All that I say, you always say more

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me
No, I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables

Under haunted skies I see you, ooh
Where love is lost, your ghost is found
I braved a hundred storms to leave you
As hard as you try, no I will never be knocked down

I can't keep up with your turning tables
Under your thumb, I can't breathe

So I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
Turning tables

Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
When the thunder calls for me
Next time I'll be braver
I'll be my own savior
Standing on my own two feet

I won't let you close enough to hurt me, no
I won't ask you, you to just desert me
I can't give you, what you think you give me
It's time to say goodbye to turning tables
To turning tables
Turning tables, yeah
Turning ohh

-turning tables by adele-

i feel it... i feel it pierce through my heart... i feel it making me so vulnerable... i feel it slowly suffocating me.... i feel it...

what they say is true...

not until something is important to you...

will you fight for it...

will you hold on... even when hope is not there...

heavenly father... please give me the strength, the willpower... the wisdom.... to do what is right this time... to drop it and leave...

2011-07-31T21:52:00.007+08:00

So scared of breaking it
But you won't let it bend
And I wrote two hundred letters
I won't ever send
Sometimes these cuts are so much
Deeper than they seem
You'd rather cover up
I'd rather let them be
So let me be
And I'll set you free

I am in misery
There ain't no other
Who can comfort me
Why won't you answer me?
The silence is slowly killing me
Girl you really got me bad
You really got me bad
Now I'm gonna get you back
I'm gonna get you back

Your salty skin and how
It mixes in with mine
The way it feels to be
Completely intertwined
It's not that I didn't care
It's that I didn't know
It's not what I didn't feel,
It's what I didn't show
So let me be
And I'll set you free

I am in misery
There ain't no other
Who can comfort me
Why won't you answer me?
The silence is slowly killing me
Girl you really got me bad
You really got me bad
Now I'm gonna get you back
I'm gonna get you back

You say your faith is shaken
You may be mistaken
You keep me wide awake and
Waiting for the sun
I'm desperate and confused
So far away from you
I'm getting here
I don't care where I have to go

Why do you do what you do to me, yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah
Why do you do what you do to me yeah
Why won't you answer me, answer me yeah
-misery by maroon 5-

darreenn chrisssss =D!

RAWRRR!! welcome to malaysia! so witty okay!!

why u no emotions?

you should know that if you come any closer, im not letting you go

2011-07-25T01:43:00.001+08:00

There are no words, to paint a picture of you girl
Your eyes, those curves, it's like you're from some other world
You walk my way, oh God it's so frustrating.

So why do I disappear when you come near,
It makes me feel so small,
Why do I blow my lines, most every time,
Like I got no chance at all,

If I could be your superman,
I'd fly you to the stars and back again.
'cause everytime you touch my hand,
I can feel my powers running through your veins.
But I can only write this song,
And tell you that I'm not that strong.
'Cause I'm no superman, I hope you like me as I am, oh yeah,

It ain't no lie, I have to tell you how I feel,
Each time, that I try it gets a little more unreal,
You say my name, oh God I can't stop shaking.

So why do I disappear when you come near,
It makes me feel so small,
If I could read your mind,
Girl would I find, any trace of me at all.

If I could be your superman,
I'd fly you to the stars and back again.
'cause everytime you touch my hand,
I can feel my powers running through your veins.
But I can only write this song,
And tell you that I'm not that strong.
Cause I'm no superman, I hope you like me as I am - ladadadi, woahhhh, woahhh, yeah, babadadadiii- ,woahhh, yeah

If I could be your superman,
I'd fly you to the stars and back again.
'Cause everytime you touched my hand,
I can feel my powers running through your veins.
But I can only write this song,
And tell you that I'm not that strong.
'cause I'm no supermaaaan,
I hope you like me as I am.

oh you have no idea... ;)

<3 do you? =)

2011-07-24T00:17:00.001+08:00

awhh thats sweeet! ;)

alpha dogg and oh oh ohmegalomaniacc iacc aaaac!
-alpha dog by fob-

;)

well work for it?? damn i dont know if its worth it... but its defo

WORTH A SHOT! ;)

yeah alright!

ANDD!! damn its been 5 years... maybbee?? =X!

2011-07-18T23:09:00.004+08:00

Transitions in life are usually marked by major events. Birthdays, graduations, weddings.But the greater transitions often come out of smaller moments. When we stop and look at where we are. Because each time we see how far we've come, we also see how far we still have to go. In order to fully transform, we might need to free ourselves of everything we've been holding on to. To send us on our new path. The right one.

Blair: Why did you just do that?

Chuck: Because of what you said earlier.

Blair: About being happy? Chuck, that's not the most important thing. People don't write songs about being compatible or novels about shared life goals and stimulating conversations. The great loves are the crazy ones!

Chuck: Blair, we're not living in Paris in the 20's.

Blair: We both wish we were.

Chuck: There's a difference between great love and right love. I left the Empire State Building last year after two minutes when you didn't show. Louis waited all night. This is your chance at happiness. You think you shouldn't want it because you've never had it and it scares you. But you deserve your fairytale.

Blair: We make our own fairytales.

Chuck: Only when we have to. You don't. How do you feel about tonight?

Blair: Awful. Just...terrible. I've never felt like this before.

Chuck: Guilt? I feel it too. Maybe I'm actually growing up after all.

Blair: I didn't want to let you go just yet. (Chuck kisses her forehead)

Chuck: Don't let anyone tell you you're not powerful. You're the most powerful woman I know.

Blair: It's taking all the power I have to walk away from you.

Chuck: I know. But I need to let you go. You need to let go.

Blair: I will always love you.

Chuck: I will always love you.

awhhh chuck blair!!!!!!!! =) very mature... =) well thats one thing i love about gossip girl... its realistic... not some crummy happily ever after shit! =)

right love unequals great love... theres no such thing as a perfect crime... no such thing as __________! =) no matter how consuming... no matter how crazy....

I loved you for so long and you ended up treating me like something you owned rather than something you worked for and earned... It destroyed me... I thought I'd never get over it. But I finally found a way out of the darkness....

2011-07-18T19:41:00.000+08:00

yeaps im sorry i dont come out right... or come out as stuck up and mean to you... but believe me when i say... =)

Shorty said she wants to run away
Says I look like a boy she used to date
Took me by the hand and pulled me to the stairs (Not interested, girl)
Put her tongue all up in my ear (Gross)
Almost made me spill my beer (Oh s**t!)
She's up and ready to go but I don't care (Pssh, whatever)

Cause I'm in the zone,
Turned off my phone,
I've got my own agenda

I feel like dancing tonight
I'm gonna party like it's my civil right (Everybody get kinda awesome)
It doesn't matter where,
I don't care if people stare
Cause I feel like dancing tonight

Everybody gettin' kinda crunk
I think some dude just grabbed my junk (Whoa)
Now I know how Ke$ha must be feelin' (Like, what is with everyone?)
Bros tried to turn me upside down
I put a keg tap to my mouth
But that's okay,
I'm dancing on the ceiling (Ahhh)

Cause I've got the groove,
I'll bust a move,
Just try and stop me

ohh i just ABSOLUTELY LOVE LOVE LOVE ATL! ;)

2011-07-17T02:06:00.002+08:00

Throughout life you will meet one person who is unlike any other. This person is one you could forever talk to. They understand you in a way that no one else does or even could. This person is your soul mate, your best friend. Don't ever let them go, for they're your guardian angel sent from heaven above.

I love you yet I hate you its like I want to throw you off a cliff and then run really fast to the bottom and catch you.

Difficult or easy, pleasant or bitter, you are the same you; I cannot live, with or without you.

Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if we never met it would have been simpler... yes easier... maybe but then I realized that it also would be incomplete.
I know you've been hurt before, I know many promises to you have been broken and I know you're tired from all of this just let me be your resting place no hurt, no promises just plain you and me.

I can't promise you that you'll be happier with me, than you are now, but if you're looking for someone to love you, I can swear that I know how.

2011-07-16T12:40:00.004+08:00

ben: Do ever have a dream and it just feels so real, when you wake up, you just want to lie there with your eyes closed, hold on to it. i barely remember being a teacher at knightly, being with you makes it real, because you remember.

serena: [nods] i do.

ben: maybe it’s time for me to open my eyes and let it go.

serena: you mean let me go.

ben: i obviously have a lot to figure out.

serena: well that guy i fell for at nightly, you’re still him, and i can see that even if you can’t. i don’t know, maybe one day when you do

yes it baffles me...

just like my one wise friend said :

boys don't deserve to be called men when they act like such pricks

you are a prick!

2011-07-15T22:42:00.001+08:00

Chuck: You don't have to be powerful on your own first. We can build our futures together.

Blair: The saddest part is that I'd come to the same conclusion. But now that I know I'm ready I realize you're not. I mean, after everything you went through—Prague, Eva, Russell—that maybe you'd changed. Who was i kidding?

Chuck: Don't say that.

Blair: You have years before you're capable of a real relationship. If you ever will be. I'm sorry Chuck.

NOO!!!!!!!!! =( i love chuck blaiirr! =(

on a brighter note... THE PRINCE IS BACKKK!!!!!!! =DDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!

note to self... su teng... do more than just smile... and maybe you'll get more than a wave next time! ;)

xoxo!

<3

2011-07-11T02:22:00.002+08:00

You're so hypnotising
could u be the devil, could you be an angel
your touch magnetizing
feels like going floating, leave my body glowing

They say be afraid
you're not like the others, futuristic lovers
different DNA, they dont understand u

You're from a whole other/another world
a different dimension
you open my eyes
and im ready to go, lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison
take me, t-t-take me
wanna be your victim, ready for abduction
boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away
its supernatural, extraterrestrial

You're so super sonic
wanna feel your powers, stumb me with your lasers
your kiss is cosmic, every move is magic

You're from a whole other/another world
a different dimension
you open my eyes
and im ready to go, lead me into the light

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison
take me, t-t-take me
wanna be your victim, ready for abduction
boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away
its supernatural, extraterrestrial

There is this transcendental, on another level
boy, you're my lucky star
i wanna walk on your wave length
and be there when you vibrate
for you i risk it all

Kiss me, k-k-kiss me
infect me with your love, and fill me with your poison
take me, t-t-take me
wanna be your victim, ready for abduction
boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away
its supernatural, extraterrestrial

Extraterrestrial

Extraterrestrial

Boy, you're an alien, your touch so far away
its supernatural, extraterrestrial

-katy perry E.T. ft kanye west-

this song keeps playing everywhere... and...
it keeps reminding me of you..

no suteng no... you promised...
not until _________

i hate that i accept you whatever, whenever, whoever,
for what was, what is, and what is to come

why is it that im programmed this why?
why is it im programmed to be so accepting? so vulnerable?
so trusting?

~~because im an idiot~~

because... ___________

2011-07-09T22:59:00.002+08:00

even when you're far away... =)

on another note... its funny how such small things can actually make me smile and laugh! =P

i guess this is what happens when one gets thrown to india... =P

What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?

SCREWED! =P!

2011-07-05T23:49:00.006+08:00

yeahh maybeee im thinking too much... or maybe im not?

am i? i don't think soooo....

plus i'm not sure i trust u with your opinion...

what if it was me?

then again... what if it wasn't?

but i do feel as if...

soo when one has realized that...

one doesn't know what one thought one knows...

then what should one do?

what can be done?

ahh!

its all good...it doesnt affect me!

~~its affecting me~~

and to another you...

its fine... if u think whatever you're thinking,..

its fine if u despise, hate or judge me

i can't help it... and ive told myself that i should stop working myself up over things that cannot be changed...

although there are things that i've never told you... things ive never explained...

but its not like u still care i guess...

and i guess thats fine...

it just simply proves and shows that ___________....

well i admit i am guilty... for not being entirely honest or brave...

for being more scared of "oh wells" than "what ifs"

then again... why keep bringing up the past right? =)

im sorry...

but its not like i expected forgiveness i guess... *shrugs* ;)

2011-07-02T13:15:00.000+08:00

ewwww.... puke.... ugh!

plzzz laa!

nvm its okay...

as long as i know... its fine... =)

2011-07-01T17:37:00.000+08:00

i cantt waiiittt =DDD!!

just CANNOTTT WAIITTT!!!!!!!

1 <3 u! =)

2011-06-26T20:22:00.002+08:00

which takes more courage? giving up when winning is possible? or refusing to give up when losing is inevitable? i'd say the former...

please do the latter... because its not inevitable...

2011-06-26T05:14:00.002+08:00

please please please... im begging you...

just this time... just this once....

let me have what i want... i never do plea with you

but this time...

im beggimg you...

2011-06-22T15:51:00.000+08:00

justt one moreee! =)

DEAR YOU!

please do know that i'm breaking up with you... i hope i never have to see u again...

my dear boyfriend physio...

im eloping with biochem!

or maybe dadh!

<3, me!

2011-06-15T22:41:00.000+08:00

JUST A BITT MOORREE ANNDD =)

I'LL BE FREEEEE ;)

i hopeee???

i need too pass first thoo... =(

imy <3

2011-06-09T22:57:00.001+08:00

nerve a arises from 4 nuclei, (b,c,d,e)

b-general visceral afferent

c-special visceral afferent

d-general viseral efferent

e-general somatic afferent

the roots of b and c join to f ganglion, which is topographically related to nerve a, but functionally related to nerve z.

the ganglion f receives roots from nerve a, as well as from nerve g (which carries parasympathetic branches from nerve h)

the ganglion f gives 7 branches which are:

okay times that by around 6 cranial nerves and ganglions... which all have their own annoying connections and branches...all of them topographically related to some nerve... but functionally related to another nerve...

this is what my boyfriend anatomy confuses me with everyday! =)

FAILLL LAHH!!!! =(

P/S do rmb to add the annoying individual muscles, their ligaments, origin, insertion, actions, NERVE SUPPLY(OMG can die) , blood supply, lymphatic drainage.... =(

and the bones, their small foramens, the structures the transmit, the course of the vessels and nerves...

ohh and embryological development of structures!!

lets not forget general histo

damn anat why must you be so mean! i still do have 3 other boyfriends to understand yoo!!!! =(

2011-06-08T23:04:00.000+08:00

i know i shouldn't be here...but yeahh

i cannott studdyyyyyy anymoreeeee!

OMGGEEEE FAILLL LAHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

anat=die
physio=almost die
biochem=the only one i can actually stand
dadh=gawdd knowsss..... havnt started revisionn for da or dh! eeeeeekkk!!!!!

oh and have i mentioned?

ANAT=DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

fail lah faill! =(

i wantt so badly to just go home now.... =(

okay after i pass(hopefullyyy)

please please please cooperate with me brain! =(

DON'T FAILL ON ME NOOWWWWWW =(

2011-05-12T20:26:00.000+08:00

You will never be able to escape from your heart. So it's better to listen to what it has to say. That way, you'll never have to fear an unanticipated blow... is that why people fear to hope? and expect failure first??

you never owned me... so don't say that u hate that you've lost me...

don't expect me to be like any of them... i really don't care if u hate me...

i'm selfish, annoying and i only do what I THINK is best...

yes im childish... but then again...

its all up to perception...

like how free will may or may not be "real"

and joy is a more of a conquest than a blessing... =)

there is nothing worse than the feeling that no one cares whether we exist or not, that no one is interested in what we have to say about life, and that the world can continue turning without our awkward presence.

i cared... and i did want to hear... but ____

2011-05-12T01:56:00.000+08:00

you set me up to leave me, you only wanted to feel, shallow love, shallow lies...

-the academy is....-

i left because... i thought __________

but then again... it doesn't help...

this time... im not going to be selfless anymore... im going to do it...

cuz i can't stand it anymore...

this is silently tearing me apart inside... and every piece stings,

this feeling doesn't leave...

no matter how much i block

it plagues my mind

not anymore...

be prepared... and this time...

it won't be any better than best!

Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same-the fray all at once-

2011-04-14T00:04:00.001+08:00

to or not?

i dont know

if i made i list....

agrhh!

i have more yesses than nos....

but the no is a major one...

soo the question now is...

yes? or no?

great... just greeatt!

you know what the most dangerous feeling is in the world?

the realization that...

you don't deserve all that you have...

are u what i dont deserve? or is it the other way around?

we're we supposed to meet?

was it meant to happen...

now these walls...

to break or to start burning bridges...

great....

2011-04-09T11:40:00.002+08:00

college day? awesommee =) WHHEEEEEEEEEEEEE

u looked awesome too! ;)

<3

thank you god for blessing me with people that always are there.. when i need it the most!

for people who dont mind my mood swings and emoness...

to the point of me being mean and judgemental..

thank you! <3 =)

2011-03-30T01:01:00.002+08:00

ethnic day was a hit! ;) loves it... okay for once in forever.... pictuuresss! i know i promised someone to show indian clothes! *wink wink* =P! i know laaa i said punjabi suit... buttt herree u go... sareee!

yeappss just 2 more months to externals.... study study studyy!!!

my personal sunshine? angel? =) hahaha i still cant pick up hindi well... XD! sorryy

~~i miss u~~

2011-03-08T01:03:00.006+08:00

in life you’ll meet a lot of jerks. if they hurt you, tell yourself that it’s because they’re stupid. that will help keep you from reacting to their cruelty. because there is nothing worse than bitterness and vengeance… always keep your dignity and be true to yourself.

its like some never ending fountain...
it goes on and on and on...
the depths of it are never ending...
and the contents just get more and more macabre...

the cycle goes round and round
like some sick carousel that makes u feel so sick...
u feel so nauseated till the point ur brain feels like needles are piercing through...
inch by inch...
you feel your gut getting twisted into nice little knots...
but somehow...
u're still stuck...
cuz your heart just won't let your body budge
and this is when... the thought of whether
picking yourself up is even worth it

but maybe im just wishing for too much
asking for the impossible...

i am fine... i promise..
yeah i dont need those condescending stares nor thoughts of yours
i dont need the pathetic pity feelings

no i can live without them
i just needed something that would have fought as hard as i did
but yeah.. never ask of what others cant give
so then what does one do?

they leave... cuz all that one can do is just that

silence isnt friendly, abandonment isnt pleasing...

but sometimes...

u're just better off with them....

and somehow... hope..

that at the end of the day... these thoughts that tug and pull you inside out
that torture you every second of every day

will just disappear and...

colour will slowly come into your life... yet again..

and that... it will stay that way..

tough luck?

yeah i thought so too... =)

block suteng...

it doesn mean anything....

2011-03-04T16:29:00.005+08:00

2nd internals overrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

theory part at least... practicals! OMG!

im sorry i mia!

i dun wanna repeat this year again yooo!!!!!!!

;)

WARRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!! ;)

2011-02-16T13:46:00.003+08:00

Once upon a time, there was a bird. He was adored with two perfect wings and with glossy, colorful, marvelous feathers. In short, he was a creature made to fly about freely in the sky, bringing joy to everyone who saw him.

One day, a woman saw this bird and fell in love with him. She watched his flight, her mouth wide in amazement, her heart pounding, her eyes shining with excitement. She invited the bird to fly with her, and the two travelled across the sky in perfect harmony. She admired and venerated and celebrated that bird.

But then she thought: He might want to visit far-off mountains! And she was afraid, afraid that she would never feel the same way about any other bird. And she felt envy, envy for the bird's ability to fly.

And she felt alone.

And she thought: "I'm going to set a trap. The next time the bird appears, he will never leave again"

The bird, who was also in love, returned the following day, fell into the trap and was put in a cage.

She looked at the bird every day. There he was, the object of her passion, and she showed him her friends, who said: "However, a strange transformation began to take place: now that she had the bird and no longer needed to woo him, she began to lose interest. The bird, unable to fly and express the true meaning of his life, began to waste away and his feathers to lose their gloss; he grew ugly; and the woman no longer paid him any attention, except by feeding him and cleaning out his cage.

One day, the bird died. The woman felt terribly sad and spent all her time thinking about him. But she did not remember the cage, she thought only of the day when she had seen him for the first time, flying contentedly amongst the clouds.
If she had looked more deeply into herself, she would have realized that what had thrilled her about the bird was his freedom, the energy of his wings in motion, not his physical body.

Without the bird, her life too lost all meaning, and Death came knocking at her door. "Why have you come?" she asked Death. "So that you can fly once more with him across the sky", Death replied. "If you had allowed him to come and go,you would have loved and admired him even more; alas, you now need me in order to find him again."
-eleven minutes by paulo coelho-

Love yourself completely first so you don't hurt the ones you Love.... because the act of doing so will never be forgotten even if it's forgiven...

u have seriously hurt me very badly this time... and even death will never change the memories... i forgive u... but this will not be forgotten anymore...

i think that its time... let me go...

i am off to find better and bluer skies now... cuz they beckon me...

i dont hate u... i just hate that u treat me like a __________

i am not sorry for meeting you... cuz u helped me realize so many things....and i still thank u for everything nevertheless...

on another note:
meh tum he miss kar raha hoo! =) thank you accepting me although it not been long... thank you for helping me out and hearing my rants... it really means alot...

all is well... =) because u are here to make all the clouds go away... =)

2011-02-11T02:12:00.003+08:00

love is not to be found in someone else but in ourselves... we simply awaken it... but in order to do that... we need the other person... the world just makes more sense when we have the other person to share our feelings with....

if there is any possible consolation in losing someone we love very much, its the possible hope that it was for the very best...

i really hope that it was...

i really do hope that u are happy...

i dont mind if u make me insignificant...

~~just dont ____________ me...~~

~~_______ just once in awhile would be enough...~~

~~just once in awhile...~~

wait... scratch that... that would not help any of us... no it wouldnt...

2011-02-05T00:45:00.001+08:00

theres always another wound to discover when the words "u" and "i " are put together...

my 18 is the cutest thing ever... =D

2011-02-02T20:13:00.007+08:00

fact no 1: i hate that i cant talk abt my emotions until its too late

fact no 2: this is why people who scream suicide... never do it...and its the people u never expect that actually go through with it...

fact no 3: i wish that i was as invisible as you make me feel....

fact no 4: i didn know that it was all still in me... and somehow... i still do wonder...

fact no 5: being "happy" is much harder than it looks...

2011-01-25T00:54:00.003+08:00

i finally understand now why i was so attached...

it was because...

i could be the real me around you... you wouldn judge me for who i was... and you could even relate to and understand me...

it was so simple...

i guess u meant more to me that i did to you...

but honestly? it doesnt matter to me.... it still doesnt mean u mean any less to me...

it alright i guess...

because i guess im already replaced...

going, going, gone...

they say that...

its not the sad moments, but rather the happy moments that kill you the most...

*shrugs*

nevertheless...
i still do hope and pray always that u are fine... that u have found some new replacement...

that you are genuinely happy...

and not just "happy" =)

the tragedy of life is not death, but what we let die inside of us while we live...

i'll just have to wait till Somone comes along to revive it? but honestly... letting it die doesn't matter....

2011-01-13T23:25:00.000+08:00

I am everything you want
I am everything you need
I am everything inside of you
That you wish you could be
I say all the right things
At exactly the right time
But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why
And I don't know why
Why
I don't know
-everything you want by vertical horizon-

don't treat me so nicely... because im so afraid that___________....

我不追求浪漫，但这不代表我不会心动

2011-01-08T22:04:00.002+08:00

sometimes... we just wake up one day and realise i guess

its so fragile...

yet i guess? hmms....

some people are just not worth it...

some people are meant to make you realise your true self...

and others were just meant to teach us...

i guess u thought i wasnt worth it..

thank you...

on another note:

someone said: you smelll nice...

well if i smell nice...

i love your hair... =) and ____________! =)

2010-12-29T23:17:00.003+08:00

someone once said...the one you love and the one who loves you are never the same person..

i wonder if it is the same in this situation?

funny how......... ahhh nvm... =)

2010-12-28T21:56:00.001+08:00

suteng: so, u should get a bf who owns a _________________

rebecca: orr! u should get a bf and convince him to get a ______________

hahaha loves it! ;)

fathima: eh my brother and i used to run around the house like crazy when we were young

suteng: hahah u all ran around the house, my sister and i used to climb the walls around the house... XD!

ahhh the days when we used to be so mischievous!

we were not naughty okay! =P

2010-12-26T15:37:00.000+08:00

she loves the smell of christmas trees, she sneezes when she sees bright lights...

people always try to impose on you what they think, thinking that it would make them affirm/ believe more in their stand... its ironic though... how much they're actually screaming out how insecure they are...

from different worlds, from different universes... but whats the ending to this story?

2010-12-25T03:50:00.000+08:00

BLLESEED CHRISTMAS PEOPLEEE!

I MISS HOMMEE =(

nevertheless... im still happy here at the same time...

redundant much?

welll i'll be... thats a suprise...

hahaah but being self-contradictory is me anyway....

you got me...

to realise that....

i _____________________

thank you... =) you've given me the best christmas gift ever... =)

why do we race? when we're running in circles?
-actors by atl-

rewind? rethink? nawhh its okay... moving forward is much more important anyway... =)

2010-12-15T23:13:00.001+08:00

did u just stop to wink?!?!?! =P!

HAHAHHA soo darnn cutteeeee! =)!

christmas is coming... and the feeling of not being home is really starting to suck...

i know i wont be emo-ing here...

nevertheless... i still do miss home...

i must say...

its at these times... that...

i realise it the most...

but yeah...

its so simple.. it really is... =)

i promise..

dont try to take me away anymore...

so until i meet ___________that is that....

i'm not coming ,back, i've done something so terrible i'm terrible to speak but you'd expect that from me...

oh i can see now, that all of theses clouds, are following me in my desperate endeavor to find my whoever....

-remembering sunday by all time low-

2010-12-08T22:59:00.003+08:00

Hey Alex?'

'Hey!'

'You're hot!'

'Thank you' *shyly looks away*

Alex: you're such an insecure piece of shit, let me have the moment of glory!

<3!

2010-12-06T02:07:00.000+08:00

if u don't want to hear it... i won't say it...

but i won't deny the truth

no explanations i guesss?

well its fine with me

on another note... =) the fact that the simplest things... the most basic things

can make me smile now...

is all thanks to you! so thank you so much! =)

i love my newww honneeyy! =D! hes so whittee anndd preettyyy!!! =D!

2010-12-03T02:11:00.000+08:00

People always want to take you into their universe, but rarely does anyone want you to take them away from their universe to your world. And when u try to do so, people will hate u for bringing misery into their lives, because it screws up their "routine"

people never like change, because they're so used to it, and going through the motions is always easier than asking yourself what u are doing, where you're heading, or the whole purpose of something.

I never expected anything, cuz i never needed anything from you... because i honestly belived that_________

but believe me... now i do have a request, and it might not be what u like... but its for the best...

i may not be at a state where i want to be... but this is where i'll become who i want to be...

so........ =)

when i had nothing to lose, i had everything. when i stopped being who i am, i found myself. =)

2010-11-30T22:42:00.000+08:00

if missing and worrying was a crime...

i'd be in jail...

i shouldn't be so darn ungrateful...

it really is not supposed to be this way...

i'd be lying if i said yes...

but if i said no...

the truth would only kill....

2010-11-29T23:03:00.003+08:00

RED RED REDD! =D!!! sooonn soonn! ;) whheeeeeeee

if i could fly... i would...

if i could float, i would...

if i could sublimate... that would be awesome...

but since i cant...

so i'll just believe...

and keep faith....

so its fine... its okay!

really??

really really!

~~i think?~~

really! its pathetic... you had it once.. and twice... what would it take you to know?!?!?

a bright neon light?? a billboard? ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

this is really pathetic..REALLY!

which takes more courage? obviously the former... obviously the former...

yeapss the latter just SEEMS that way...

i guess ïts just like someone said i guess....
"it doesn't matter if anything was there... just keep walking... its none of your business anymore... you laid it all out... you have nothing to give anymore... since you already know what is it that u want.... go back to you... cuz thats who we love... it hurts to see you this way..."

thank you so much... i <3 you too! i needed that so much...

even if i left without anything... its nice to know that i have new pieces that will come along... and pieces that HAVE BECOME APART OF ME! =)

2010-11-28T00:40:00.001+08:00

today is the first time in india that suteng:
-got into an accident (a mild one of course... don't worry am alive....)

and its also the first time...

suteng drank in india...

no i DID NOT DRINK AND DRIVE....

i wasnt driving! =P

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
-death cab for cutie-i'll follow you into the dark-

i don't know what response you expected from me... but believe me

i promised... i promised... yet here it goes again and again...

2010-11-25T19:14:00.004+08:00

something you'd never imagine

something you wouldn't believe....

i don't believe in________

but i do believe in_______ =)

thank you! you really made my day! ;)

on another note! FIRST INTERNALLSS ARREEE OVVERERRR! =D!

2010-11-23T23:38:00.002+08:00

suteng should be studying...

GOO STUUDYY SUTENGGG!!!

crap!

gosh i totally lost the mood to study for practicals...

i shouldn do this to myself...

go suteng go...

sigh!

just biochem and physio left..

joy... physio...

prick yourself till you dieee! =(

the lancets better be the sharp ones on that dayy!! PFFTTT!!

*hypnotizes self*

i need to nerd... go be a nerd...

nostalgia is such a dangerous thing...

home is where the heart is...

oh heart... return to me already please?

2010-11-06T20:00:00.000+08:00

TDD! yes yes TDD!

;)

no regrets... no second guesses...

because....

i have YOU! =) and thats all i need... =)

2010-11-05T13:02:00.006+08:00

i don't know... but i feel as if the surface you...

is nothing like the real you....

i can't seem to explain why....

but if u want that, i will pretend that i've never noticed that side...

because... i myself promised that i will not talk to my own darkness anymore, i promised myself. Closing the door to the other. a fall from the third floor hurts as much as a fall from the hundredth. if i have to fall, may it be from a high place....

this dream is killing me, i need to see your face and know that i've made it home.

2010-11-03T21:20:00.010+08:00

what does one do when one realizes that the very thing one thought could make them...

would be the very thing that breaks them?

time flies.... =)

2010-10-27T21:05:00.005+08:00

when i heard that jocelyn is graduating, i just realized how not so long ago my own graduation seems.... =)

whenever i see the state of things here... my heart is filled with pity, pain and sympathy... the state of how some people live just tugs at my heart...

i just realised how uber childish i am... its after that i came here and saw the way some ppl have to live everyday... the things they do just to get by... it has really opened my eyes...

it is now that i notice how much of a whiner i am...

never again shall i complain about my physical state of life...

dear god... forgive me for being a complainer.... forgive me for taking you and the things that you have given me for granted... for not cherishing all the things that i subconsciously hold dear to my heart...

may i never fall into that dangerous state of security again...

on another note,

release the feelings, cut the strings, burn all bridges that could possibly bring me back....

and thats how i have been able to...

forgive myself...

because i don't want to be an avenger... neither do i want to be a self-pitying "victim"

-it is said that a city can be moved, but not a well. if someone decides to leave, the well cannot go with them. It remains there, abandoned, even though it is still filled with the same pure water as before-

2010-10-26T21:13:00.007+08:00

GREETTINGS PEOPLE! =D!

okay i know that this place is a little dusty... so time for some cleaning up! ;)

okay so the story is...

suteng is fine and well here...met great people... has a nice place to live... and is settling in really well

it wasnt much of a difference i must say... just that suteng misses the poeple back home...

and home is where the heart is?

nevertheless... she is building new bridges....

and burning some that she doesn't need..

she took out some skeletons from her closet...

opened up the curtains...

and let the sunlight in! =)

honestly? i guess its just the habit that i miss and not the person that i actually miss ? =) but that in itself is a paradox huh? =)

suteng will TRY to update okay? =P!

2010-08-29T16:30:00.001+08:00

this is it! the last post before i leave!

im actually feeling rather apathetic now... funny huh??

i cant say that maybe it hasn hit me...

cuz how would i explain the posts the last few days? =)

i guess it because i've accepted it! =)

so longg!!

i hope to see u all sooon! =)

needs and wants

2010-08-28T01:49:00.003+08:00

one may die without what one needs... but one will definitely survive if one doesn't get what one wants...

i guess somehow time will tell...

remember that...

even if its not going your way...

it doesn't mean that it isn't going according to His mater plan suteng... =)